If you don’t want to sing this song Don’t feel compelled just to belong Obligatory public vows shouldn’t make anybody proud We don’t believe in faded ink No shame updating how we think Let’s circle back, no need to lock our constitution Google Doc Don’t pledge allegiance to me, I I’ve got no reason to be right I’m not your King, I’ve not returned I’ve got a million things to learn We’re like a trilogy unwatched 2/3’s abandoned and simply dropped We’ll never know the end, I’ll bring the paper and the pen and try again We’re okay living in the wings Don’t need attention or what it brings we’re all content just to let the kings Fight back and forth over petty things We’ll plant our flag and hope it grows And if the cameras come we can strike a pose If this life’s an anthem of perfect prose We are the 2nd verse that nobody knows Don’t pledge allegiance to me, I I’ve got no reason to be right I’m not your King, I’ve not returned I’ve got a million things to learn We’re like a trilogy unwatched 2/3’s abandoned and simply dropped We’ll never know the end, I’ll bring the paper and the pen and try again And we’ll shimmy to the left, shimmy shimmy to the left Everybody shimmy shimmy on over to the left And then we’ll shimmy to left, keep going to the left It’d be super duper helpful if you’d shimmy to the left It’d be great if you’d shimmy to left please, thank you Don’t pledge allegiance to me, I I’ve got no reason to be right I’m not your King, I’ve not returned I’ve got a million things to learn We’re like a trilogy unwatched 2/3’s abandoned and simply dropped We’ll never know the end, I’ll bring the paper and the pen and try again

i was walking to work day crossing the street you gotta look both ways i know but today i just stepped out with my eyes closed three narrow misses and a screaming driver i made it safely to the other side and i open my notebook and i write "experiment 9: success" and underline it yeah i think i'm immortal the signs are becoming unignorable it all started a week ago i woke up with a weird feeling so i did what any reasonable person ought to do jumped out the window barely caught a sprain walked on the tracks and tried to stop a train yeah i think i'm immortal the signs are becoming unignorable how else would you explain it i'm god i think i always knew i'm god you're not that sucks for you i thought that i was special i guess i was now all you motherfuckers better pray because i'm god i'm god my first commandment is all love songs are now about me my second commandment is thou shalt not order in food without leaving some aside for me as offering my third commandment is the workday now starts at 4pm and finishes at 4.45pm two days a week My fourth commandment is the summer will never rise above a pleasant temperature, and i'm scottish so, prepare for cold weather My fifth commandment is commands are hard to come up with, imma take a break my sixth commandment is free healthcare for all, sorry, i should have thought of that sooner my seventh commandment is vampires are real and they're sexyyy my eighth commandment is we should probably defang the vampires, but i acknowledge that a lot of their sex appeal comes from how dangerous they are so i dunno leave that with me my ninth commandment is no war, no famine, no poverty, no bloodsports, no long layovers, no disappointing endings to novels, no greenhouse gases, no mandatory mailing list signups, no hidden fees, no gods, no masters, no actually scrap that. you didn't write that down did you? my tenth commandment is the vampires leave you alone unless you consent to be bitten yeah i think that solves that problem yeah i think i'm immortal the signs are becoming unignorable how else would you explain it